Monday, March 24, 2008

"Another baby update"

My beautiful angel gained some weight. 


She is still small but, we're [basically] outta the danger zone now!  


All her organs, head & arms/legs are still measuring 3wks too small but Doc was worried about her not getting nutrients! 


So I am so excited that she is finally gaining.

I see my Doctor on Wednesday to find out the next plan of action.  

I only have 2wks left--maybe he will scrape my membranes to help push things along.  

Thank You to EVERYONE who was praying for her! We were getting really scared b/c she seemed to be decreasing in size and now shes catching up, kind of.  


We didnt get any good pics shes really scrunched up in there. 


Can't wait to see doc to see what he says!  

I'll post another update on wednesday!


xo
-Kelli

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

"E Update... Via OB"

...​​NO​T​H​IN​​G exc​​it​i​n​g hap​​pe​n​e​d.​​  


He [my OB] is​ a lil​ wor​rie​d abo​ut her​ siz​e b/c​ whe​n he mea​sur​ed my tum​my it has​nt gro​wn in 3 wee​ks (it​ was​ the​ sam​e for​ my las​t 3 apt​s),​ so now​ we are all​ anx​iou​s for​ my upc​omi​ng ult​ras​oun​d on Mon​day​. 

He sai​d if she​ is sti​ll mea​sur​ing​ too​ sma​ll tha​t hes​ tak​ing​ her, via pitocin​. 


All​ her​ org​ans​ and​ arm​s and​ leg​s wer​e mea​sur​ing​ 3 wks​ to sma​ll las​t tim​e. So we will see-

I was​ on the​ mon​ito​r tod​ay (ag​ain​) for​ a whi​le and​ had​ 2 sem​i-b​ig con​tra​cti​ons​ but​ the​y are​ sti​ll @ 10 min​s.  


**Ive been craping pretty bad, which is another reason he didnt want to re-check me, he said that could quite possibly make it worse, he said that if it gets unbearable to call him, after being on the monitor we know they arent contractions, I have them in-between contractions, he said thats normal at this stage in my pregnancy and for my first**  
Ive also been lucky b/c I havent gotten any swelling in my hands/feet and my blood pressure is very low. Better low then high at this point.  
Hes​ not​ che​cki​ng me aga​in til​l nex​t wee​k, see​ing​ as he mig​ht tak​e her​ nex​t wee​k any​way​s. He gue​sse​s im at abo​ut 1-2​cms​ not​hin​g to big​. But​ jus​t thi​nk I cou​ld be hav​ing​ her​ NEX​T WEE​K!!​  

I mee​t a pot​ent​ial​ Ped​iat​ric​ian​. I DID​ NOT​ LIK​E HIM​. So im gun​na do 1 or 2 mor​e mee​t & gre​ets​ nex​t wk bef​ore​ my unt​ras​oun​d. Im dow​n to the​ wir​e now​. Thi​s is the​ sec​ond​ one​ and​ I did​nt lik​e him​ and​ nei​the​r did​ my mom​. UGH​ thi​s is a ver​y imp​ort​ant​ dec​isi​on.​ Wis​h me luc​k!  

Wel​l Tha​ts all​ Fol​ks!​ 


xo
-Kelli

Saturday, March 15, 2008

"The Things I Miss"

I miss a bunch of things, but heres a few I miss the most:
  • Boat days
  • Tanning 6 days a week
  • Concerts
  • FREE Concerts
  • Laying by the pool drinking margaritas out of the pitcher
  • Beach Trips
  • Random Mall/OP Trips
  • Line Dancing 
  • Pointe
  • Our Y trips
  • Going to class from the Pool then heading right back as soon as class got out
  • My size 6 LUCKY Jeans
  • My RIPPED Jeans...that I wore ALL the time
  • My Name belts...
  • My many buckles
  • Being a size 6
  • Wearing my boots w.skirts
  • Mudding/ 4-wheeling
  • Wine
  • Margaritas
  • Girls Night Out
  • Heels
  • My Long Hair
  • Point (I know I already said this but I miss it that much!)
  • Cuddling on the couch watching a movie(s)
  • Rocking out in the car w.the windows down w.my girls
  • MY GIRLS
  • Campechee Bay
  • Basically Spring/SUMMER/Fall 06
  • My Lil Daisy 
  • JACKSONVILLE && All that goes with that! 

I Miss a lot of [silly] things.

But I am beyond GRATEFUL for this Lil miracle growing in my belly.

I am so CLOSE to moving into the next phase of my life, nostalgia likes to pull me back sometimes, being a MOMMY.

I couldnt ask for more.

I felt I needed to get all the things I missed off my chest, and now I can move on, to becoming a mom.

I know in just a few SHORT weeks these things wont matter b/c I will have my precious angel and I will have started to write a new chapter in my life.

xo
-Kelli

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

"E is stubborn"

Well Doc said that if shes not bigger at my ultrasound in a week and half hes gunna take her, via c-section... eek!

Grow baby grow.

Im not dilated anymore. Dont know where my CM went :( but its gone. Sigh. well thats all.


Very anticlimactic apt.


xo
-Kelli

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

"When a girl LOVES a Military man..."

I love the emails I get from my dad:

...



When a Girl LOVES a military man...
1.) If she wasn't emotional before, that is all about to change.

2.) You getting a higher rank could just mean an automatic free lay.

3.) Get her a pair of dog tags, ASAP, This is crucial, she will never take them off.

4.) Most of the time, you losing reception during training is your fault. (Though, she will eventually understand)

5.) Most of the time, everything is your fault. (This especially goes for when she is pregnant) 

6.) She WILL start talking like your guys and you talk, including using your last names.

7.) Her patriotism could out-do most of your men... she will be proud... VERY proud.

8.) Be Ready: your car will end up with a yellow ribbon magnet or an "I LOVE MY _____" sticker eventually. (if you have seperate cars, hers will DEFINITLY have these)

9.) She will most likely need a pair of dog tags to hang from the car's rear view mirror. (see 3)

10.) Every week she'll have "another song" that makes her think of you when you're away. (And she'll cry to it, even when you're in the same room)

11.) If youre married, she may know the base better than you do... Don't take it personal. 


12.) You will catch her comparing your relationship with "other couples" in the military constantly.

13.) She'll make 5 million friends online, and talk to you about them all the time because her "old friends just don't understand" like they do. 

14.) Don't be shocked when she just drops civilian chicks out of her life like flies. (she mostly does this when they complain to her)

15.) DO NOT if you love her, say anything about you not wanting to make her wait for you... (TRUST me men, YOU ARE WORTH every breath to these women, or they wouldn't be here) 

16.) Most women actually do LOVE it when you are sweaty and dirty, even the girlie girls. it's sexy as hell.

17.) Only bring up the field/underway once, say it clear, and don't bring it up again. We will remember the time, the dates, like stone inside our mind. Don't remind us.

18.) You ARE our hero. That isn't us being cute, it's us swelling with pride, feeling like a princess everytime we glance over and you're standing there.

19.) Don't worry about waking her up when you get a chance to call, trust me, she's NOT sleeping. If she is, she's been waiting for you to call all night, and fell asleep next to the phone.

20.) Leave at least 3 of your shirts for her... she'll wear them all the time and if she doesn't wear them out she WILL wear them to sleep.

21.) No matter what she was like before, she is tough & harder than a rock now. She can handle anything, she will get through it, tears or no tears.

22.) Don't be discouraged or taken back from her strength. It comes with the territory. When in your arms, she's still your queen, soft and sweet.

23.) Your kids might see mommy as the one in charge for a while, it's okay, they WILL respect you, just give it time.

24.) EVERYTHING in her life will be complicated, so she might not always get the simple things you say to her. 

25.) Tag Chasers are her WORST enemy, she CAN and WILL spot these girls... random profain comments may come out of your little queens' mouth... its okay, shes protecting her best asset...you.

26.) She will spend hours to look good on cam & pics for you, this is just a pasttime until you get home, be prepared for messy ponytails and comfy pants when you finally do get home.

27.) Her favorite sentences from you start with "when i get home" or "when i get out".

Lastly guys,

28.) No matter how much she's changed, never forget that you mean the world to her, she loves you more than anything, and you will ALWAYS be her hero..whether you think you are one or not.



xo
-Kelli

Monday, March 10, 2008

"Baby update 3/10"

Hello all...Its time again to let yall know how my lil E Is doing.

Well lets start w.the positive: She has gained some weight we're close to 5lbs! Thats awesome!!

But.. she is still too small. Her head, stomach & kidneys are measuring 3 weeks too small and her arms and legs are measuring 2 weeks too small. There also seems to be a decrease in the (amniotic) fluid levels.

She is only in the 20th percentile for size, etc. They start to really worry when it drops down to the 10th.

3 weeks ago she was in the 30th percentile so we lost 10% in 3 weeks. Not good, but not horrible.

They want to see my back in 2 weeks for a recheck, if I even make it 2 more weeks, if I do I will be 38 weeks.

I see my wonderful Dr. on wednesday, so we will see what he thinks needs to be done, if anything, regarding her fluid and size.

As for me: my contractions are like 15 mins apart. Doc says to wait till they get closer together. He is def doing a dilation check. my cousin Missy who had a baby 3 mons ago said hers never got to 5 mins they were about ten, so when she finally went to the hospital she was already 8cms!! So I am having him check me...LoL who knows.

She is also 100% in position. Her head is soo far down (I almost had to remove my pants b/c we couldnt get them low enough so they could find the head) she is also facing my back, which is also how she should be for delivery.

They also said she is def running out room b/c I am so small (only 5'1 for those who didnt know) and I have a small build. Which is prolly why it feels like she is trying to claw her way out (TIMI?).

But thats all that was said. I got a few good-ish pics I might out em up.

I will let everyone know what Doc says on Wednesday!!

xo

-Kelli (&E)

Sunday, March 9, 2008

"Little Sundress By Chris Cagle"


THIS IS MY NEW FAV SONG. I AM SOO IN-LOVE WITH HIS NEW ALBUM!!!



...

Flip flops and bottle tops strown across this hotel room
What a night, what a party
What a place, Cancun
Got your pretty little head on my sunburnt chest
Girl, we're wasting the day away
And it sure feels right with you right by my side
And I barely even know your name

Baby your deep blue eyes
And your golden tropicana tan
And the taste of wine on your sweet lips sure did me in
Never felt like this from just one kiss
Never been in such a big old mess
Til I saw you in the moonlight dancing in that little sundress

The band was groovin'
Had everybody moving to the rhythm of a reggae tune
All the people, all the faces
All I saw was you
Now I'm wrapped in your arms
And I never wanna leave this below the border love affair
There's a plane taking off with an empty seat
And I don't even care

Baby your deep blue eyes
And your golden tropicana tan
And the taste of wine on your sweet lips sure did me in
Never felt like this from just one kiss
Never been in such a big old mess
Til I saw you in the moonlight dancing in that little sundress

Ain't it crazy how I found you
In a world full of girls
Girl, what did you do

Baby your deep blue eyes
And your golden tropicana tan
And the taste of wine on your sweet lips sure did me in
Never felt like this from just one kiss
Never been in such a big old mess
Til I saw you in the moonlight dancing in that little sundress



xo
-K

Saturday, March 8, 2008

"Too much "me" time isn't always good..."

...Yah.

Strange that someone would say that but, honestly thats how I feel.

I have had so much "me" time in the past couple of weeks. When I am alone I find myself thinking about all sorts of random things, I know I wouldn't normally be thinking about, but my loneliness and most of the time boredom, lets my mind run wild.

I find myself becoming more and more jaded over time. Im starting not to care. Basically my life isn't what I thought it would be, right now & there is very little I can do about it. 

I never thought I would be 21, married (on the brink of divorce), pregnant and living with my parents b/c of said divorce b/c 'husband' walked out. 

Every little girl has her wedding planed by the time they reach the age of 10. I have to admit my wedding has been planned for a very long time, I was one of those little girls.

All I needed was a Man who LOVED me enough to marry me and a Ring on that all important finger. Well I got the man (who doesnt love me) and the ring (that I bought.. for myself... good God), but I didn't get my wedding. We wanted to start our lives together we needed BAH, so we eloped .

No one knew we were doing except his chief, he needed the day off, and I became a Mrs. with just God (& the person who married us) as my witness. It hasn't bothered me until this evening.

In the past I just told myself, I don't need a wedding, I don't need all the frills. and in reality I don't NEED those things, no, I WANT them.

Sometimes I wonder if we should have waited to get married, done it the "right" way, had our MY wedding.

Would my Mom be more excepting if we did it that way?
Would she be the proud in-law?

But then I think, If we would have waited we wouldn't be expecting our little miracle any day now, and I honestly can't imagine life where she doesn't exist.  For almost 9 months this little being has been dependent on me! That alone is a huge responsibility. Then being a mommy is an even bigger responsibility, one I am excited to take on!! but its one I want to take on w.my husband by my side, a husband I don't have... (soon to be) divorce is a bitch. 

I am stressing about school, and my graduation date, about the lack of husband I have, where he can stay when he moves... like that is MY problem, that I swear all of this is going to throw me into labor.

I am physically exhausted ALL the time, I am mentally burnt-out and emotionally I am frazzled. 

I look around my room @ pictures of us that used to adorn the walls and tables and counters in our apartment and I cry.

I cry b/c I miss being part of an "US". I miss rolling over and him someone being there, I miss his the manly smell, I miss his flirty playful teasing and tickling. I MISS MY having A HUSBAND, I DO NOT MISS ROBERT.

I pray and pray and pray. I know God doesn't give you things you can't handle.

I just dont know what to do anymore. I will continue to pray and hope. But for now I cry myself to sleep.

I don't have any real friends down here, I spend most of my time alone b/c my parents are very active and have a busy lifestyle.

I am not used to so much alone time. I am a social person by nature and this is slowly killing my spirt.


I feel like I can't go on anymore sometimes, I feel as if I can't get out of bed. The longer I stay there the shorter my day is and less likely for it to suck more life out of me.

Soon I will have no choice I will have to get up and do the things required of a mommy. E can't take care of herself, thats what I am for. But I ask, who takes care of the mommy?

xo
-Kelli

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

"[Another] Baby Update"

Hello all


I had my 35 wk apt. 


Everything went well...  

I was on the monitor for a lil bit, that went well.  

He wants to gauge her size so I have another ultrasound, Monday @ 1 @ Winnie Palmer.  

Also...I am already 1cm dialated!! 


He says that I could stay that way until my due date or it could continue to progress, which means no leaving orlando/WP area. So I am not getting too excited.

I have another apt next Wednesday...he wants to see me weekly till shes born.  

xo
-Kelli and E (arriving soon!)

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

"This bugs me!!"

You know what really gets under my skin?

When I get pushed aside for a video game or b/c he just doesn't care.

I am VERY PASSIONATE about politics; Poly Sci was gunna be my minor until I got pregnant and just don't have time for a minor, graduating is far more important to me.

But holy hell, if I want to talk about the current election, just humor me and listen and act like you care, even if you don't. LORDY!

Anyways today marks 10months of marriage.  Its spent alone. Makes me wonder if this is this how I will celebrate 1 year? with ice on my ankle and depressed?

Only time will tell...man time is a SLOW SLOW bitch.

I was feeling super creative...not so much anymore. I will play w. PS in the AM.


Thats all. Goodnight.

xo
-Kelli

Monday, March 3, 2008

"He does that..."

I was looking at a friends myspace and came across this quote:

"find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot. who calls you back when you hang up on him. Who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat. who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead. who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. who holds your hand in front of his friends. who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

I want this...


Some people tell me he's not my prince and others tell me to leave him. 

I feel that if we get past ALL of our issues and he is here w.Me and E & we're a family again that he will in fact be my prince. We just have a lot to work on, and its 100xs harder then a normal couple, hes 2000mi away! :( I think I am trying to wish the problems away, but I think I know what I have to do. 

I am a sap and a hopeless romantic and I want to believe that we will make it through this prickly patch and come out STRONGER & HAPPIER, as a couple, as a mommy & daddy and as individuals. 

Sadly only time will tell. and before we know it, we're gunna be parents. Less than 35 days till she's due and Im pretty sure she's gunna come EARLY! Make her appearance when least expected, thats what I did. So basically I will be a mommy ANY DAY NOW!

I will continue to pray and lean on God for support. I know one way or another I will get through this. God NEVER gives you something you can't handle. 

Im off to do some relaxing sudoku, then bed. Im tired, as always.

xo
-Kelli